NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE
The Quayside Newcastle upon Tyne NE1 3LA |
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B e f o r e :
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Re X/Y |
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Telephone: 01642 232324
Facsimile: 01642 244001
Denmark House
169-173 Stockton Street
Middlehaven
Middlesbrough
TS2 1BY
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Crown Copyright ©
Introduction
The Law
"A court may only make a care order, or supervision order, if it is satisfied that (a) the child concerned is suffering, or is likely to suffer, significant harm; and (b) that the harm, or likelihood of harm, is attributable to the care given to the child, or likely to be given to him, if the order were not made, not being what it would be reasonable expect a parent to give him."
Issue for this Hearing
"I know what happened to me within my relationships with FX and FY. I was not able to establish that in court, beyond a finding that FY was physically abusive to me on 31st August. I may not accept Judge Wood's findings in respect of my historic relationship with FX, but I do agree that my stance with regard to contact has served to alienate the boys from their father. I am sorry that that is the situation, but I felt that in keeping the boys from their father, I was protecting them from the abusive behaviour that he had shown towards me and his bullying of me to effect contact."
The Children
"A very confused little boy, whose head is all over the place."
"When I left this family, I felt I did not have a great understanding of them."
"They were all very nice about each other."
"Emotionally immature children with additional needs due to the losses they have suffered; their instability; their many home moves and adult conflict. Furthermore, all of them have confused identities, which are conflicted."
Social Work Evidence
The Psychological Assessment
"It suggests a degree of psychological fragility and a pattern of poor coping and defence mechanisms in regard to stressful events, at times resulting in dissociative symptoms, for example memory loss and deliberate self-injurious behaviour."
"This assessment raises concerns about M's ability to manage here close, intimate relationships and the messages this communicates to the children. Historically, it is my view that the children have not been protected from adult issues and their own views and feelings have been inextricably caught up in those of the adults, making an understanding of their needs complicated. This is particularly evident in the relationship difficulties between A and B and their father and latterly in all the children's expressed views about FY when he left the family home. At present it seems E and F and being supported to continue a relationship with their father and this is positive. But, given the allegations that M has made against FY and in light of a similar pattern of concerns in relation to FX, I think one has to question her capacity to promote this relationship in the longer term.
More generally, there seems a theme whereby the children are struggling to integrate the different aspects of their family identity and this reflects M's struggle to manage the breakdowns in her own relationships, where those who leave the family home are somehow cut off from existing relationships. This has also been D's experience, although I acknowledge the local authority has had a role in determining contact plans and I understand there has been very limited contact. D's exclusion from the family raises issues about M's capacity to manage the challenges of adolescence; the extreme nature of her and M's response removing the bedroom door is concerning. D at that time was in a difficult place emotionally, having lost her father in the context of her other life experiences, and this raises questions about how the other Y children may be managed if such issues arise for them.
For E, in particular, she currently has mixed emotions about her father, which are likely to intensify if the current situation with regard to contact ensues. The assessment raises concerns about the sibling relationships between D, E and F. Since D left the family home their relationship appears to have become more difficult, as D is realigning her family identify as somewhat separate from E and F. In the light of their mother's death and an inconsistent relationship with their father, I think it is important that they are supported to enjoy close relationships with one another as much as possible."
"In order to rectify the harm, long term plans have to be about long term emotional stability, in an environment equipped to manage emotional needs. Looking at the evidence to hand, the question is whether M can promote the children's individual emotional needs in the context of a relationship with their father. The job of any resident parent, and it comes with responsibility, is to allow them to have permission with other significant adults. With the X children, this has been severely lacking; it has improved but it remains problematic. Only one X child is going regularly and happily to their father. My view is it is really important that we promote the sibling groups. E and F live very separate from their biological family; they need to have that promoted, moving forwards, as part of their identity."
"They have been a sibling group since 2008; there will be an impact. It is difficult to say though what relationships are, because all are glowingly nice about each other."
The Mother
"I've been promoting it without fail even when it's not happening."
"I believe the judge came to a fair conclusion and that I wasn't able to get across what I wanted to. I don't say it is wrong, but I don't fully acknowledge everything. I wasn't able to prove everything in court."
"I still believe both men were abusive."
"Angry and upset and a hundred other different feelings as well."
"I was not able to convince the judge I was telling the truth."
"Likewise, with Dr Young, I answered her questions as best I could, but there was an awful lot to go through."
"I do, but I've been trying to put it right for the past three or four years. I'm a lot older than I was in 2010."
"Some things I haven't handled properly, it's not a simple question."
"Hindsight is an amazing thing. Of late, I haven't stopped A, it's down to him, I've promoted contact for three years. I wasn't the only person opposing, FY supported me."
"For two years, I have been fully compliant and fully supportive of all contact offering extra contact with family members."
"I don't know why, he's nothing against them, he was just never included in the local authority contact."
"I think he is afraid of what happened, seeing his dad hit me."
"I haven't poisoned him, I am still in a place that it did happen."
The Children's Guardian
"I feel her approach is that she is being forced to address things, but outside I'm not convinced that she has the motivation to respond proactively. Supervision would underpin a placement with her, but it is not sufficient. M lacks insight and motivation to address things, save under duress."
Further Findings
(ii) On a date before 5th June 2015, M applied for passports for each X child; passports that were issued by the Passport Office in the name of Y.(iii) On 27th May 2015, in anticipation and in support of the passport application, M asked FX to provide written confirmation of his acceptance that the passports be in the name X-Y. FX acknowledges that he gave that consent. He says that he did so in the belief that the children were still called X legally, but identified themselves as X-Y, in view of the long association that they had had with FY, during his marriage to their mother. He denies absolutely knowing anything of the Deed Poll.
(i) It is her belief and I remind listeners she has no memory on which to draw, but relies on what FY told her, because of her amnesia that FX consented to the change of name from X to Y, sometime prior to August 2010.(ii) The court in private law proceedings directed that the name X needed to be on all documents, hence the papers refer to X-Y.
(iii) FX consented to the passports being in the name X-Y and provided a form of consent in support.
(iv) However, the passports were returned by the Passport Office in the name Y.
That that was so, was, first of all, a mistake by the Passport Office; secondly, overlooked by her and thirdly, only discovered when the travel agent noticed that the surnames did not match the bookings and on it being too late to get the passports amended. Instead, she paid to alter the names on the travel bookings.
(i) on 9th June 2010 the unilateral stopping of FX's contact with his children;(ii) on 16th July 2010, M's application for a non-molestation order, making allegations of the utmost seriousness, all of which have been discredited by the findings of this court;
(iii) it now ends on 24th August 2010 with M applying to change the names of his children to Y. I find it is inconceivable that FX would have consented to a name change in such circumstances, or indeed in any circumstances.
"To whom it may concern. Dear Sirs, I the undersigned having parental responsibility for AX, consent to his name being changed to AY. I have a non-molestation order the children's father dated from 16th July 2010 to 16th July 2012. He has had no contact with the children due to this order and his violence towards named above and myself. He is not to know of where we are, that is why we are changing surnames. Yours faithfully, M."
That is signed with an electronic signature. Identical letters were produced in respect of each of the other two children. The fact of the non-molestation order and the dates are correct. Paragraph 7 of the Deed Poll service website reads, so far as is relevant, as follows:
"7. Changing a child's name when the mother has good reason for not wanting to contact the father for his consent. To change a child's surname when the father's whereabouts is known, we usually need either the father's consent, or a court order that gives the mother permission to change her child's name without the father's consent. However, if the mother has good reason for not wanting to contact the father for his consent, it may be possible to change her child's surname without the father's consent or a court order. Examples of situations where we will accept a Deed Poll application from a mother in such circumstances are "
Then there are four bullet points.
- The mother has fled the family home to escape violence or abuse from the father and is at risk or fearful of being located.
- The mother is fearful of contacting the father because of past abuse, physical or mental, towards her or her children.
- The father is in prison for a serious offence such as murder, rape or other sexual offence and the mother and children do not wish to be associated by name to the father.
- Where the court has issued a no contact order or a non-molestation order.
The passage goes on to indicate the need to send a letter in the form of example letter 4B, which is obviously a template within the website and the need to send such information as orders and so on in support.
"Bugsy is a funny name for a teddy, but I can't change it now, because you shouldn't change people's names."
"Time after time I've asked but nothing's been arranged."
"I didn't think that this was allowed."
That was despite D living in a family placement.
Discussion
"If they have to move, an immediate move would be the best decision. Leaving them in place would reinforce the dynamics we are trying to alter. It would be very hard for both children and M."
Decision
Conclusion
We hereby certify that this judgment has been approved by His Honour Judge Simon Wood.
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