SITTING IN BOURNEMOUTH
B e f o r e :
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PR | Applicant | |
and | ||
JS | First Respondent | |
and | ||
TER (by her Children's Guardian) | Second Respondent | |
(RE-OPENING OF FACT FINDING: ALLEGATIONS OF SEXUAL ABUSE) |
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Miss Alev Giz (instructed by Philcox Gray) for the First Respondent mother
Mr Adam Langrish (instructed by Abels Solictors) for the child
Hearing dates: 2nd to 6th September and 9th to 13th September 2019
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Crown Copyright ©
Mrs Justice Roberts :
Introduction
The essential litigation chronology
(i) on at least two occasions on 15 November and 13 December 2015 the father had touched the child in the area of her bottom, something which he knew to be inappropriate;
(ii) on one or more unspecified occasion(s), the father had touched T around her genital area, an action which he knew to be inappropriate;
(iii) on one or more specified occasion(s), the father had put his finger inside the child's bottom and/or her genital area;
(iv) by his actions or words, the father had manipulated T who had received a clear message that she was not to talk about what had happened to her, that the washing/touching had not actually happened and that it must remain a secret.
In each case the judge had found that such touching was likely to have been sexually motivated on the father's part or, if not, it was clearly inappropriate and had caused physical, psychological and emotional harm to T.
Delay
Essential family background and the development of contact following the parents' separation
"Subject: Re: [T's] birthday
You funny of course we will do something together for her birthday. don't worry about this for one moment !
I haven't given it much thought … poor you stressing about this. please don't worry about things like this of course we will do something.
I'm just not sure what yet … i haven't seen a single soul other than mum since you went away !! so not sure who we can invite!!
but yes lets organise something nice.
…………………….
don't worry about anything like this [T] loves you and i want us all to get on for a long time i won't do any underhand move with your access i have promised this already.
lots of non romantic love
silly
xxxx"
"As you can imagine, this is not an easy email to write. However, [J] tells me that you have been encouraging her to understand how central it is for [T] to have proper time in her relationship with me, her Dad.
I do appreciate this, as I am a very committed (not to say devoted) and active Dad and [T] is the central person in my life. The separation has happened whilst [T] is at such a young age. It has been a hugely difficult adjustment not to be able to see as much of her as I want. That may change in future but for now any support to my parenting of [T] is welcome, which includes minimising any confusion to her when you are staying in our …. house. As a father yourself you will know something of the pain of separation; for it to happen in a way that reduces time with [T] is the hardest part.
I have not told [J] that I am sending this email. Your relationship with [J] is not the reason I am writing. I wish [J] happiness. I am only concerned to protect [T] and her development in this difficult time."
"Thanks for your mail. The last thing I would want to do is cause any confusion for [T], please don't worry about that. I hope things work out well for you. I'm sure they will in time."
"Two key factors emerged from this discussion:
1. Because of your current sensitivity, you each have a tendency to interpret the other's meaning in a negative way. This emerges as a mis-match between the speaker's intended meaning and the listener's understanding of what was meant. Your lack of mutual trust escalates this further to accusations of lying or manipulation. To avoid rows, you also avoid giving full information which you think might upset or inflame the other. Such omissions lead to rows escalating.
2. [To the father] your grief cannot be healed by focussing on what you no longer have. To move forward, you need to enjoy what you have in the moment and what you can look forward to in the future."
"[To the mother] You have consistently put a great deal of effort into supporting [T's] relationship with [her father]. Specifically, you have acted against other external advice, lived through [T's] tiredness and temper tantrums, thought of ways to reassure her about the changes she would face and soothed her initial reluctance. Your exhaustion at dealing with this and the lack of acknowledgement of your commitment to making things work have left you emotionally depleted in the face of [the father's] needs for reassurance."
The essential factual allegations
(i) On 15 November 2015 the father touched the child around the area of her bottom or touched the child around her genital area and/or put his finger or fingers inside her bottom or genital area;
(ii) On 13 December 2015 the father touched the child around the area of her bottom or touched the child around her genital area and/or put his finger or fingers inside her bottom or genital area;
(iii) On other unidentifiable dates the father touched the child around the area of her bottom or touched the child around her genital area and/or put his finger or fingers inside her bottom or genital area. (see paragraph 87 of the appeal judgment).
The Law
"Burden and standard of proof and evidence
23. The burden of proving a fact is on the party asserting that fact. To prove the fact asserted that fact must be established on the balance of probabilities. The inherent probability or improbability of an event remains a matter to be taken into account when weighing the probabilities and deciding whether, on balance, the event occurred. As has been observed, "Common sense, not law, requires that in deciding this question regard should be had, to whatever extent appropriate, to inherent probabilities" (Re B [2008] UKHL 35 at [15]).
24. The decision on whether the facts in issue have been proved to the requisite standard must be based on all of the available evidence and should have regard to the wide context of social, emotional, ethical and moral factors (A County Council v A Mother, A Father and X, Y and Z [2005] EWHC 31 (Fam)). Where the evidence of a child stands only as hearsay, the court weighing up that evidence has to take into account the fact that it was not subject to cross-examination (Re W (Children) (Abuse: Oral Evidence) [2010] 1 FLR 1485).
25. If a court concludes that a witness has lied about one matter, it does not follow that he or she has lied about everything. A witness may lie for many reasons, for example, out of shame, humiliation, misplaced loyalty, panic, fear, distress, confusion and emotional pressure (R v Lucas [1981] QB 720).
26. The court must not evaluate and assess the available evidence in separate compartments. Rather, regard must be had to the relevance of each piece of evidence to other evidence and to exercise an overview of the totality of the evidence in order to come to the conclusion whether the case put forward has been made out on the balance of probabilities (Re T [2004] 2 FLR 838 at [33]).
27. There is no room for a finding by the court that something might have happened. The court may decide that it did or that it did not (Re B [2008] UKHL 35 at [2]). However, failure to find a fact proved on the balance of probabilities does not equate without more to a finding that the allegation is false (Re M (Children) [2013] EWCA Civ 388).
28. In principle the approach to fact finding in private family proceedings between parents should be the same as the approach in care proceedings. However, as Baroness Hale cautioned in Re B at [29]:
"… there are specific risks to which the court must be alive. Allegations of abuse are not being made by a neutral and expert Local Authority which has nothing to gain by making them, but by a parent who is seeking to gain an advantage in the battle against the other parent. This does not mean that they are false but it does increase the risk of misinterpretation, exaggeration or downright fabrication."
29. Within this context, it has long been recognised that care must be taken not to focus attention on statements made by the child at the expense of other evidence, particularly where allegations of abuse arise in the context of private law disputes. The Best Practice Guidance of June 1997 Handbook of Best Practice in Children Act Cases Section 4, Annex para (k) cautions that:
"Any investigation which focuses attention on the statements of the child runs the risk of producing a false result if what the child says in unreliable or if the child's primary care taker is unreliable, particularly where the allegation emerges in bitterly contested section 8 proceedings."
"Evidence cannot be evaluated and assessed in separate compartments. A judge in these difficult cases must have regard to the relevance of each piece of evidence to the other evidence and to exercise an overview of the totality of the evidence in order to come to the conclusion of whether the case put forward by the Local Authority has been made out to the appropriate standard of proof."
(i) the number of times a child has been interviewed;
(ii) the age of the child at the time;
(iii) the need to scrutinise with care the reliability of the reporting adults;
(iv) the climate in which the "disclosures" were made;
(v) whether whatever the child has reported is likely to be fact or fiction;
(vi) the consistency, or lack of consistency, in the child's account;
(vii) the child's behaviour both before and after the allegations were made;
(viii) the absence or presence of corroborating evidence.
THE EVIDENCE: MY ANALYSIS
"… So I was involved in all aspects of bringing her up, so obviously I'd be changing her nappies and doing the routine and it was quite normal for me to clean her, that means using a wipe to clean her bottom, and then when she was potty-training, sometimes – well, I remember seeing like her having, um, sort of skid marks on her pants and, um, I'm of Indian origin and since living in India for a period I wash myself in that way. It's like the French use a bidet, and it was completely normal for me to rinse her bottom if she was dirty, particularly during the period where she wasn't quite ready to wipe herself, or just learning to wipe herself properly.
This is something that, it didn't happen that often, but maybe once or twice a week I would be around after she had a poo and she got into the habit of saying things like "Wash me, Daddy", and then it became a little bit of a ritual, so she really enjoyed me doing that because she would lean on my … so she's on the toilet, she's finished her – I put her child's ring on the toilet, she's finished her – getting her poo, and then she'd lean on my, um, arm (indicates) and then in that home the sink was next to the toilet, just a foot or two away, so she would lean on my arm sit her on the edge of the sink (indicates), we'd mix the water, and this was all a bit of a – like, my attitude to parenting is to try and make things fun, so sometimes I'd pick her up and go "Whoo" (demonstrates) and sit her on the sink and then we'd mix the water, she'd check the temperature of the water, she would be – you know – for her it was like a fun thing."
15 November 2015: the first incident of redness and swelling
13 December 2015: the second incident of redness and swelling
"What I have been clearly told implies I must send [T] back to her Dad and wait to see what happens. I am actually horrified by this suggestion and of course do not think this is the best thing or safe to do. I am faced by this horrible dilemma. It strikes me the situation is this:
1. I send [T] back to have time with her Dad and remain super vigilant whilst making sure [T] knows she can talk to me, not to keep secrets and also to let her know she is a big girl and doesn't need help washing etc.
2. I stop contact now and wait for an investigation. Block contact until it goes to court.
What strikes me is that if I choose the second option I will loose [sic] the good working relationship I have with [T's] Dad."
Having set out in her letter to the GP the pattern of contact which had developed and T's inability to cope with so much contact, the mother said this:
"I have raised serious concerns with my solicitor about his ability to look after a child and take proper care of her. I have felt that I have done all I can to try and make contact with her Dad as bearable for her as possible. I sketch this picture simply because I want to make it clear I am doing all I can to keep things civil for the sake of [T] and enable some kind of positive relationship between them. This includes, for example we all eat together 4 times a month because I noticed [T] felt more comfortable seeing her Dad the more she could see that we had a friendly relationship (believe me this takes at times incredible resolve).
These are extracts from a much longer letter which the mother told me she wrote at 5am on the morning of 20 December 2015 when she was in a state of high anxiety and at a time when she felt in 'a complete quandry'.
"If however by some miracle this case is reviewed and there is a change of opinion amongst the social services team please contact me immediately on my mobile …. And I will go and pick her up from wherever she is in London or avoid going. We take the 10.10 train which gets in at 11.40. If there is anything that can be done to suggest I don't drop her please call me before this and we will not meet him."
"Monday 14 December At breakfast. I say to [T] again. Nobody needs to touch your bottom. She replies nobody accept Daddy [sic]…
[T] is an extremely bright and confident person. She is doing really well at school, has lots of friends and is generally self assured. She is extremely articulate and chats to me about all sorts of things. However when I have tried to subtly talk to her about this she clams up completely, looks down and won't look me in the eye[3] ….. I have tried to talk very generally about her cats/kitty wouldn't like it is [sic] anyone touched her bottom etc. secrets are fun but sometimes if someone asks us to keep a secret it can make us feel sad … probably not the right or way to ask at all, however when I broach anything around this she completely clams up. She might just be shy but my instinct is it is more than that. My gut feeling is this really needs to be investigated. However I feel scared to confront my ex. He is extremely clever, brilliant with words and believes his own press so will be able to convince himself that whatever he has done is ok and that this is my problem not his. If I am going to take this further I need absolute support or [T] and I could find ourselves in a much worse position than we are now and I am not prepared to risk that." Again, the emphasis is the mother's own.
"Before Christmas there were two incidents when [T] came home with a very sore front bottom, i.e. sore labia and inside etc. The first time it happened you said you had been washing her with hand soap in a public toilet. At that point we had a very straight forward conversation where I said [T] washes/wipes herself. I made it clear I didn't expect to see this again. And there is no need for you to touch her in this area as, even if she needs help with wiping that should be at the back not the front etc. The next time you went to soft play she came back red again. This time all 3 of us discussed the situation I do remember you suggested she had got hot running around but I didn't feel at all clear about what happened. I only raise this because both cases of soreness were severe and not something I have know[n] to have [happened] before.
I actually just want to understand what exactly happened in the public toilet and how you came to be washing her here. I'm sure you have a completely straightforward reason and it is much better that I just ask you straight out rather than having a worry that perhaps I should explain better how to look after a little girl etc.
I am looking forward to having my mind put at rest. I would really appreciate if you could just describe the events so I can understand how the situation arose as I have been worried that you might be lacking a bit of info about this aspect of looking after her."
"I'm taken aback by your email but it's important that we address any concerns.
………….
In the interests of clarity here's what happened.
1) Mid-November visit [to the soft play centre]
I don't ever wash her labia area – only ever her bottom – when she was dirty. This has only happened once in a public toilet – I didn't want to wash her bottom as she's really old enough to look after her toilet needs but did so as [T] was insistent – she probably repeated this request because her poo was a bit smelly/runny.
I wiped her bottom – the right way – so no poo goes towards her labia.
We used the Ladies as this was cleaner & better.
I did not have child's soap with me at that time so I used a bit of the soap that was in the washroom. I washed her bottom only i.e. not her labia as I never wash this area – but I imagine that when rinsing it off, the water flowed down and some soap got onto her. Let me say very clearly that I did not touch her labia area. (You will recall that even when we had baths together I never washed her there and asked that you washed that area if it was needed as I think that a mother knows much better what to do if needed).
I was concerned by the redness you talked of and that soap triggered this. I remember that she regularly got read [sic] in that area when she was very young and you used to put a cream on to help. Apparently this is not unusual.
At that time (w'end of 14th/15th Nov) we agreed that [T] no longer needed to have her bottom washed and I'm more than happy not to have to do this. And relieved as I'd prefer not to anyway. This may lead to dirtier underpants sometimes as washing is cleaner than wiping but I do not want to wash her bottom and this will help prevent any unfounded allegations.
2) You reported redness after another visit to softplay – mid-Dec I think? – again this was news to me. On that occasion I took her to the loo when asked but did not wash her. I encouraged her to wipe herself, which she did. I was surprised when you told me of the redness as there's no washing now. The only thing I could think of was that it may have been because she was wearing woolly tights and running a lot. I said this at the time – that redness of a child's sensitive skin can be caused by lots of things – from the kind of washing powder or reacting to particular fabric etc.
3) Nowadays when she asks me to wash her bottom (she only asked once this weekend so this request is reducing) I said that she was a big girl now and that she just needs to wipe on the loo and she can wash herself at bath time with you. When she needs the loo and we are out together, I continue to accompany her to the public toilet and help her on and off an adult toilet seat if needed. To be really clear: she now wipes herself. The one-off washing when she was insistent & dirty stopped two months ago.
Any ideas you'd like to talk through about how to look after [T] are always very welcome."
"If you persist with emotionally manipulating [T], blaming me or continuing to behave selfishly I will have no choice but to take this further. [T] does not need to be dealing with our relationship or adult complexity. When you see her it is time for you and her. Not time to point score with me through your daughter. I know you do it because you openly said it at dinner on Saturday night when [T] asked why doesn't Daddy live here you said well that's mummy's choice. Saying things like this only hurts [T]. It just makes me think what an idiot you are.
You are a very silly narcissistic man. You have brought this all upon yourself through your actions. You need to take responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage and now what is happening with [T]. It is nobody fault but your own. I am giving you a chance to salvidge [sic] things and continue to build a relationship with her. Throughout all of this I have been utterly consistent. But I am not going to tolerate you emotionally abusing her or otherwise as I know only too well how damaging it is and I'm not going to let you hurt her."
The Family Assessment undertaken by Children's Services between January and March 2016
The first home visit: Friday 22 January 2016
"[M] has stated that she generally feels that [F] is a dangerous character and that he was controlling and emotionally abusive during their relationship. She is of the view that he is very coercive and can present well to professionals in order to hide the concerns that she has. [She] has sought support from a domestic abuse outreach worker following the end of their relationship and is also attending a group for women who have experienced these issues."
"[T] was understandably wondering why I was asking her quite sensitive questions and I explained that I would come and see her at school next week."
The second visit to school on Thursday, 28 January 2016
"I also completed some brief keep safe work with [T], talking about private places on our body that [are] private to us. [T] raised no concerns."
The ELSA sessions : 29 January 2016 to 20 April 2016
"There have been 2 serious incidents before Xmas. I also have concerns around [the father] photographing [T] and other children. (I have seen pictures he has taken at Play Centres).
There are no risks at home. [T's] father is not Resident. However there has been a problem before Xmas where [T] has been returned showing evidence of sexual abuse." [my emphasis]
(In response to a question about the evidence base for this assertion): "What I have seen and also email from [the father] agreeing that this happened in his care. [T] has been returned to my care twice with an extremely Red, Hot labia and vagina. This has not happened before or since and the reasons [the father] has given do not satisfy me enough to restore my trust or believe that this is symptom of serious abuse [sic]. These incidents have happened against a backdrop of other difficulties which mean I am unable to trust [him] …..".
"[T] must not be taken to the toilet by him or left alone. I would ask you to be aware of him taking photographs.
Social services are involved.
I am deeply concerned about the situation and how safe [T] is in the care of her Dad. I believe that he has abused his daughter at least twice. I also believe there to be a level of emotional manipulation at play – [T] not keeping Daddies secrets – as she shuts down and will not talk about what happens when she is with him.
[The father] is also excessively photographing [T] which I find very strange. I need to raise the fact that he has come home from soft play sessions with [T] and shown me photographs from the trip which include pictures of other random children [T] has played with. So while I am acutely concerned for [T's] safety I also want to raise this if he is in contact with other children."
"[The mother] had no new information but obviously her concern about her ex-partner … continues to trouble her. CSD are completing an assessment and she and [the father] are going to court over custody and contact.
[She] did say that she had concerns about [his] interest in photographing children. He is a documentary film maker and also lectures on the subject. He is sponsored by a charity to take pictures of children and recently did so when he went to India in January. [She] was also concerned when he took pictures of their daughter and another unknown child at a local indoor play zone. [She] said that [the father] did have an interest in pornography when they were together. She has never seen any indecent images of children but is putting [his] two interests together and summising [sic] that he is either abusing or taking indecent images of children.
I told [her] that I would record this further information and also speak to Becky Bowles who is completing the assessment."
- T was being coerced by her father into saying that she wants contact. Although when the mother had initially reduced staying contact from two nights to one, T had said she wanted to stay for two nights before reportedly bursting into tears and saying that she did not want to stay at all but that he had made her say this;
- the father was "a dangerous character" who was controlling and emotionally abusive during their relationship. He can present very well to professionals in order to hide the concerns she had;
- the father had been in a same sex relationship before their marriage and she assumed that this was the reason for the distance which his family put between them. She now wonders if there was a more sinister reason for this. He regards sexuality as a fluid concept and she has concerns about his ability to observe appropriate sexual boundaries for adults and children;
- he was photographing children abroad as part of his work for a charity organisation. The mother was concerned that this might be something of a "cover story" for gaining access to vulnerable children. She had seen no evidence to support her concerns but she is concerned at the picture which is emerging;
- the father was part of a well know Buddhist community which had been the subject of an investigation by a national newspaper in 1997 over concerns over misogyny and sexual exploitation. She was worried that his close association with this community might have impacted on his sexual boundaries;
- a preschool worker at T's previous pre-school had raised concerns that the father had taken a photograph of a child at the school without permission and had then become verbally abusive when questioned about this. The pre-school worker involved had since sent a letter to Children's Services and has explained that the photographs which the father took was of T alone. He had taken photographs on his mobile when he came to collect her from school. The pre-school worker had mentioned this to the mother subsequently. The father had become annoyed that she had involved the mother in this and asked the nursery assistant to raise any concerns she had directly with him. The assessment concluded that, whilst he may have become more frustrated with the preschool worker than was helpful, there was no evidence that he was taking inappropriate photographs.
"Assessment has not evidenced that [T] is at risk of sexual harm, or has experienced sexual harm from her father. At this time, there is no physical evidence of this and no disclosure has been made by [T]. Indeed she has raised no concerns at all. Whilst again it is appreciated that she is only five years old and may not feel able to articulate any issues at this time, it remains the case that there is no evidence at this time that she is at risk of sexual harm from her father."
The "disclosures" on 2 and 8 April 2016
"On 2nd April 2016, I was washing [T] in the bathroom with a flannel. She was having a big strop because she didn't want a bath so I gave in and said you can choose to have a bath or a wash. She asked me to wash her. I said but you wash yourself now, she persisted so I washed her with a flannel. As I finished she said, 'that was quick, when Daddy washes me it takes ages'. I asked [T] 'does daddy wash you with a flannel as well ?'. She said, 'no he uses his hand'. This came out very naturally, presumably because I was giving her a wash. I tried to then follow up this question and she put her hands over her ears and wouldn't say anything else.
"The ELSA worker at school – Ms BUTCHER, has a good rapport with [T]. This is according to [the mother]. Therefore [the mother] thinks the best chance of a disclosure would be with Ms BUTCHER present. If we get a disclosure then we can go to ABE, arrest and then bail conditions will be able to be applied."
"I said, 'I need you to be a really brave strong girl and talk to Mrs Butchers about what Daddy has been doing to you'. She was screaming and crying and she said, 'I can't tell her I can't tell anyone'. And I kept saying 'yes you can, I'm here to look after you, nobody can hurt you'. Then she said 'I can't say it but I will write it down'. I got [T] some pens and paper and left her to draw and write while I made the tea.'
"wash my botm"
"[T] sad bcuz"
[in a different colour] "dusnt Mum … lic it"
"iscrem" [next to what appears to be a small ice cream cone]
"Dad is men"; "dad is happy".
"On Friday 8th April 2016 [the mother] said that they had friends staying for a few days and then she took them back to the train station. When they were at home [T] was playing up and both of them became emotional and {the mother] told [T] off. Both of them ended up in tears and [T] went and sat under the table.
[The mother] went over to her and said sorry and asked for a cuddle. [She] said to [T] "I know there's something you want to tell me, you can trust me, you're safe now you only have to see daddy at the play centre". [The emphasis is the officer's own.] [T] then put her hands over her ears again and said "I can't talk, I can't say anything. I won't speak". She was crying and really upset but then said "I could draw something, when I get upset I like to draw things and write". Both of them calmed down and [T] went into the lounge and sat at a small desk and started drawing and [mother] went into the kitchen and cooked the dinner."
12 April 2016: T's first "meeting" with the police at school with her social worker, Becky Bowles, and Mrs Butchers, her ELSA support teacher
"Police officer: So, if I told you that good touching would be if Mummy gave you a kiss and a cuddle before you went to bed at night.
T: I do not like kisses …. I like cuddles….. [kisses] are too sloppy.
PO: Okay, but you like cuddles. Okay, so that's good touching. Kisses and cuddles, okay, to say goodnight and bad touching would be if somebody touched your private area, so around here, that bit (ouch, or banging your elbow). Has anybody done any bad touching with you, [T] ?
T: Um, I can't really remember.
PO: If someone did do some bad touching who would you tell ?
T: Mummy.
PO: Mummy. What about anybody else ?
T: Er, I don't know.
PO: What about Mrs Butcher ? Coz you've got people at school you can tell, can't you, yeah ? Is there anything else making you sad in your life ?
T: Umm, no.
……………..
PO: So if something made you sad, would you write it down and give it to Mrs Butchers ?
T: Uh huh.
PO: Yeah. Coz she can then read it. So if you think of something when we've all gone, you could write it down and Mrs Butchers can tell us and then Steve will have to come back and read it and have to do some drawings. Would that be good ?"
"[M] updated not happy with outcome [the emphasis is that of the police officer]
I have spoken to [M] and told her that [T] did not disclose any offences against her father. [M] is not happy and very upset because she thinks it was because there were four strangers in the room. [T] was in fact very chatty and answered all the questions including questions about her father. We showed her a picture she had drawn and given to her mother and she has given a different explanation to the pictures. A very innocent explanation !
At this time [T] has not disclosed any offences but xxxxxx(Elsa) is going to continue working with [T] in case she does. [T] has been told that if she wants to tell xxxxxx anything at all, (we haven't specified only to do with her dad/mum) she can do this by drawing or writing.
[M] is very upset and emotional as she is concerned about [T] going to stay with her dad for sleepovers! I have told her unless [T] tells us something that is evidential that we can put to her father in an interview this matter will not be progressed by the police."
"I have just spoken to [T] over Breakfast. I said did you see [name of police officer] yesterday ? [T] said yes, she said she has met kitty. I said did you talk about your drawing ? [T] said I didn't want to talk to them. I don't like that room anymore. Then she said, [name of social worker] was there and she had changed her job. She is now Face timing her dad. I said will you tell Dad about your meeting yesterday ? She said, No he would be so angry.
I just wanted to tell you this. I would like this to be recorded somehow, sent on to [the social worker]."
On 18 April 2016, she sent this email to PC Dalley:
"I am just following up.
[T] has just told me a 'fib' something silly about nana. After we talked about it. I said it is really important to try to tell the truth, [T], especially as you are meeting people like Becky and the police. She didn't answer. I said, because you told the police I made you draw that picture didn't you ? She said yes. I said do you think I did make you draw that picture. She said no. I said, if you meet people it is important to try and tell the truth because people need to know what has really happened. She put her hands over her ears and started shouting at me … I don't want to talk about it. (Which is fair enough most children have a casual relationship to the truth it is most unfortunate that 4 year old should have to deal with these sorts of consequences). I will send a copy of this also to Becky [the social worker].
"don't wont too god to Dads hows
Dad woshis mi .. me … botm"
BB: Can I read you this bit ? [read to T]
T: No
BB: Why not ?
T: I can't remember
BB: If you have a bath with Daddy, how do you get clean ?
T: by washing myself with soap and a flannel
BB: Does anyone else wash you ?
T: I can't remember
BB: does mummy wash you ?
T: No
BB: does daddy wash you ?
T: Yes
BB: Where does Daddy wash you ?
T: I can't remember
BB: does Daddy use a flannel ?
T: No
BB: How does that make you feel ?
T: Sad.
BB: Does daddy say anything to you when he washes you ?
T: No. he just talks about making food.
""31. I believe that the report by Children's Services shows this manipulation [by the father] exists because what [T] has told Becky [Bowles, the social worker] in no way resembles what the truth is. For example, [T] has told Children's Services that she cannot remember going to the doctor. I believe [T] has tried to fool Children's Services because she has been twisted by the Respondent. For example, the Respondent has made a big thing of saying [T] told his sister in law she 'hates [the town where she lives with her mother]'. I think she would say this because she knows how to perform for the Respondent. She knows what he wants her to say."
The next report from the mother: 30 April 2016
(page 1 – left hand side): "Dabee woshis my botm I dodnt won to see Dad
(page 2 – right hand side) "Dadey wosh ismy botm I don't (top of the page) lik it
(page 3 – left hand side) "he kep it a secret I don't lik it ang"
(page 4 – left hand side) "the anmls ar wored beckuz
(page 5 – right had side) "and the anmls are fritnd
(page 6 – right hand side) "They don't lik et"
(page 7 – left hand side) "it is scsaty" .
"I asked her does it hurt when Daddy touches you ? she nodded and then put her hands in front of her mouth and said I can't speak. I said why can't you speak. She said I just shut down like when the computer goes off. I asked: How can I plug you in ? She said I don't know. It makes me feel funny when I talk about it. I asked funny how ? She said I am scared because dad will be so angry."
In her email, the mother pleaded with the policewoman to take these concerns seriously. She said, " … all of this is just so awful. I swing between disbelief as I just can't believe he could do this to her it is so awful. Please take this seriously. He has been doing this to her. I know she has been very clever at covering and avoiding talking about it but I think she has been scared and as I have said all along his capacity to manipulate is terrifying."
"She told me it hurt when Daddy touched or washed her. I can't remember exact wording. I asked 'where did it hurt ?' She said 'on my bottom'. I said 'was that your front bottom or back bottom ?' She first said 'back', then looked uncertain, then she pointed to the front. I said 'did he put his fingers inside your bottom?' She nodded. At this point I said, 'Daddy has done something very wrong. No daddy should touch you like that. Daddy should never ask you to keep a secret that makes you feel sad.'
The mother has placed on record that she did not report the second part of this conversation because she realised that she had asked T a series of leading questions. She maintains that it was only after she had spoken to her solicitor that she was advised to put all of this information before the police and Becky Bowles.
The (DS) police review: 1 May 2016
"[T] has not provided a credible disclosure that she has been a victim of any abuse. In fact she has given a negative disclosure to professionals. Her mother has convinced herself or wants others to believe that her daughter has been abused. The above chain of events indicates to me that [she] has been influencing her daughter applying pressure and potentially encouraging her to make disclosures. Whilst the disclosure to the ELSA [i.e. Mrs Butchers] was the first indication to anyone other than her mother, that disclosure has to be viewed with caution given the preceding events. Conclusions and actions;
- There has not been a creditable evidential disclosure
- Given the above sequence of events it would not be proportionate, necessary [or] in the interests of [T] to attempt to secure an evidential account from the child. The reasons being her age, the likely detail of the account and the fact that it would have been undermined by the actions of [her mother]
- CSD should be informed that the police will not be continuing a criminal investigation
- CSD and Police will visit [the mother] and explain why the police investigation is not continuing and that she should not continue to pressure and quiz her daughter as that in it[self]could be construed as abuse."
The LA's Revised assessment: 4 May 2016
"Assessment has not evidenced that [T] is at risk of sexual harm, or has experienced sexual harm from her father. At this time, there is no physical evidence of this and no disclosure has been made by [T]. Indeed, she has raised no concerns at all. Whilst again it is appreciated that she is only five years old and may not feel able to articulate any issues at this time, it remains the case that there is no evidence at this time that she is at risk of sexual harm from her father."
"This is a difficult and emotive situation, with a variety of new issues being raised at frequent intervals. It may be the case that [T] has experienced sexual harm and requires protection from this. However, it may also be the case that [T] is feeling that she needs to make certain comments to adults as she is aware that various professionals have become involved and she has been visited several times and asked questions about being washed by her father. [T] is also a bright young girl who is likely to have some awareness of the current parental acrimony and feel that she needs to make certain comments to please her mother. It is crucial that [T] is protected from this."
"Two thorough assessments have been completed following concerns from mother regarding father's contact with [T] (5). At this stage, there is no evidence that [T] has suffered sexual harm. Unfortunately [T] has been asked leading questions which is a clear concern as [it] could effectively undermine any possible future disclosure and raises concerns regarding an impact of the recent situation on her emotional welfare. [T] is aware of her mother's distrust of father and has had attention from her comments and therefore there is a risk that she uses this for attention in the future. As social worker summary, [T] needs to continue to be provided with opportunities to share any concerns she may have, and will only achieve this if provided with safe and stable conditions to do so. It is clear that she has concerns regarding her contact with father now and therefore this would need to be managed with sensitivity and care."
8, 9 and 10 May 2016
The ELSA session with Mrs Butchers on 15 June 2016: "secrets"
"Throughout our relationship, I have observed that the [father] would tell lies and then absolutely believe the lie and start to live the lie. I am convinced that [he] would have convinced himself that he has not done anything wrong to [T], that despite having done so that he has not sexually abused her but merely washed her, because he would not want to believe that of himself. [He] could come across very convincing once he believed his lies and I am very concerned that he will have managed to convince all the professionals, and this Court, of his lack of sexual motivation for the incidents."
As I have already observed, I believe that still to be this mother's mindset and heard very clearly the warning she has given to me about the need to guard against being beguiled (my word, not hers) by the father's presentation in this rehearing.
Events following the first hearing in July 2016
"When Dad washed me it really hurt. He was really rough and his fingernails hurt inside my bottom. He told me not to tell you he washed my bottom and that it was a secret. It felt like a trap."
"I just used to try and switch off or go to sleep until it was over."
"Daddy could show you a film of it, then you would know it happened."
When T was asked, 'Did Daddy film it ?', T said that he did.
The mother asked, "Did Daddy film you being washed ?", T said, "No, just with my leg in the air". When asked if she had clothes on, she said both 'yes' and 'no' and, when pressed by her mother, she said, "I can't tell you. I don't know. I'm not sure."
There was then a heated outburst from T who told her mother to leave the room. She said, 'You never listened to me. I was always crying when we went to London and you always left me…. I didn't want you to leave me but you did leave me."
"I explained to [T] again that my job was to help and that if there was anything that she was worried about, she could tell me and I will try to help. [T] sighed and said 'ok then' and went to get some paper and pens from my bag in order to write something down. [T] hunched over so that I couldn't see what she wrote, it looked like she wrote the wor[d] "bottom" but then hastily scribbled this out before I could read it … I asked her if she could write this down again and this time [T] just drew a series of lines. When I asked her what this meant, [she] said "blah blah blah". Therefore I returned to neutral topics and [T] showed me the vegetables that she and her mum are growing."
"No new concerns raised. [T] presented as happy and settled, her body language was open and did not change when talking about her Dad, unlike on the previous visit with the police."
The father's police interview: 19 October 2016
"[T] and I stayed for a night in London at my friend, [S's], house. I used to always stay at [S's] house when I took [T] to stay with her Dad. As I was putting [T] to bed she said to me. Do you remember when I was at Dad's and you came and put me to bed ? ([T] had been in such a state and upset - [the father] eventually phoned me and asked me to go over and see her. This was one of the last times she stayed with him in London.) I said, yes I was here at [S's house] that night. I said, you were in such a state that night I was really worried about you. She said Dad used to fib all the time. He used to wash me and then he would say I didn't wash you. Don't tell Mum. Dad is such a liar. I said, is that when dad washed you with his hand ? She said no, it wasn't his hand … it was his fingers. I said, Oh. She said, he put his fingers in here. She pointed to her vagina. I said, I am so sorry Dad did that, [T]. I said, Nobody should touch you there. It is private. I said, so tell me again what Dad would say (I was confused). She said, after he had done it he would say he hadn't done it. I said Oh ok, that's a bit strange."
The Cedar Project sessions
"Dad washs my botm
I don't like it
I don't like it when I am far from mummy
Dad gives me lots of swits"
The 5th CEDAR session on 2 May 2017: further "disclosures"
'he do's it at 3 [inverted] aclok evry day' [worried face]
'Dad washs me' [sad face]
'Dad gav me much swits'
'Pippa is mein to me'
'My nanna has diyd'
'I am woryd because he nit do it evry time it is saw. It herts.' [sad face]
'he washs me on my botm' [sad face]
'Explan that a bit mor ? it is saw because he puts his nals on it'
'Wher dos he put it ? my botm. Frunt & bak.' [sad face].
The ABE interview: 16 May 2017
(1) T was asked what she had come here to talk about; she wrote, 'To talk about my …. [three crossed out letters/words which are illegible] …evy think(g?)'.(2) When asked what she meant about 'eveything' she wrote, 'my dad, Pippa, nanna, maths titch'.
(3) 'Tell me about Dad' produced this response: 'He woshes me. I am to far away from mummy. He givs me to much swits.'
(4) 'Tell me about when Daddy washes you': 'At 3o'clock evry Day'.
There is then an exchange between PSI Tarry and Miss Rhodes about 'grabbing a drink'. T says she is thirsty. She goes to the window sill to get her drink. She then returns to her writing and reproduces the question which PSI Tarry has just asked her ('So, what happens when Daddy washes you ?'). She says (inaudibly, in part) that she has written the number in and then says 'What a naughty [T]'. This appears to relate to the fact that she wrote tis in the wrong colour.
(5) 'What happens when Dad washes you ?': 'He sez he hasn't don it.'
She is asked, 'What hasn't Daddy done ?' She then returned to her 3rd note and drew a circle around the word 'woshes'. She is asked if Daddy has washed her and she says 'yes'. When PSI Tarry repeats the question and asks 'And what happens when Daddy washes you, T said she does not understand the question. It is asked again.
(6) T answers the question thus: 'By putting 1 finger in my bum at a time'.
(7) She is asked, 'Where are you when this happens ?' She writes down, 'In … [word scratched out and illegible] … London'.
T continues to drink her water by the window sill. Miss Rhodes is worried that she might be getting tired 'because this is a bit like being at school and having to write things down'. T is encouraged to give some 'quick answers' by 'talking' responses. PSI Tarry suggests that maybe she could just write down the answers. T continues to write out the questions followed by her answers.
(8) She is asked how old she was when this happened and she writes '3'.
(9) She is asked 'How many times did this happen ?' and responds '40 times'.
T is then asked if she can go back to her answer about "putting one finger in my bum at a time" and is asked where she was when that happened.
(10) She writes 'Eny wer' and then on a separate line, 'the A1'.
She clarified that response by telling PSI Tarry 'except on the train. Can't do it on the train…or maybe the underground'. She is asked what she was doing just before that and responds, 'I can't actually remember that. I don't really know and I don't really get what you're saying'. Miss Rhodes then tries to help her by thinking of a number of places in London (i.e the park, Buckingham Palace, somebody's house). T responds that she could not remember the place, '… so basically Buckingham Palace or … so like, wherever there's toilets or something'.
(11) She then writes a fresh note (numbered 11) : 'Eny wher ther is toilets'.
(12) She confirmed that Dad took her to the toilet when she was little. She was asked what Daddy would do and she pointed to her note numbered 6. There is then a discussion during the course of which PSI Tarry tries to elicit an understanding from T as to whether she is speaking about her 'bum' for 'having a wee' or her bum 'for having a poo'. T responds, 'Any'.
She is then asked "When you say Daddy put his finger in your bum, was that on your bum or in your bum or don't you know ?". She replies, 'In, I think'.(13) PSI Tarry asks her, "so how did that feel ?" and T writes in her next note, 'saw ichy'. She then asks to go to the toilet. In her absence, there is a discussion that she appears to be getting very tired and a bit worn out. T returns to the room dabbing a sore place on her arm. She is asked about whether Daddy said anything when he did that. T is not sure. She is reminded not to guess. She says that she might remember in the end.
(14) She was asked if he said anything after it happened. She wrote on her next note, 'Don't tell this'. She was asked who she has told about this. She responds 'No one yet, but when I was in reception I had, um, everyone who had a bad life or something had to go to this person and I used to do that, Samuel and Pippa used to do that.' Asked what she said when she went, T said, 'Well, nothing really, but then I said it and then the – some other police came and I wasn't really sure because I was just like four and … it was just quite hard, but this is the first time I've ever told anyone … so it's much easier now'.
(15) When asked about how she felt seeing Daddy, T said, 'You've just got to change the first letter for dad' and she wrote 'Bad'.
She confirmed that her father had not done any more things that she did not like, except cooking her macaroni cheese.
T was then very anxious to gain PSI Tarry's attention in order to talk about the other things she had written on her note: 'Pippa hirts me' and 'Nanna is dide'.
- the absence of any corroborating medical evidence
- strenuous denial of the allegations on the part of the father
- lack of independent evidence or third party corroboration
- no disclosures of sexual touching by T despite the involvement of police and partner agencies
- judgment from the Family Court – allegations not proved
- T had been assessed as "highly suggestible to leading questions and adult tones" and was prone to "guess" at answers.
ANALYSIS AND CONCLUSIONS
(i) there is no independent or corroborating evidence of any injury or physical damage to T consistent with digital penetration or any other form of sexual abuse; and
(ii) the mother's increasingly acute anxiety had on occasions been projected onto T in circumstances where she has been found to be "highly suggestible" (per Miss Rhodes). Whilst PSI Tarry told me that this was a common feature of presentation in a child of this age and was not a particular presentation or characteristic which she had observed in T, Miss Rhodes' notes, as an experienced intermediary, are quite clear;
(iii) the mother herself accepted during cross-examination that her demeanour and tone were capable of influencing any account given by T to her mother or other professionals;
(iv) the mother had over time asked of T a series of leading questions and, in certain respects, those questions had not only led the child in terms of the response sought or suggested; they had also introduced new concepts and information which had not previously been the subject of anything which T had said prior to being asked such leading questions (in particular the use of 'secrets', 'being hurt by Daddy', 'fingers' and 'digital penetration').
"I remember clearly that we were in the bedroom. He said to me, "She has had a really messy poo. It [i.e. 'the poo'] had gone up and in and I had to wash her out".
The mother's knowledge of the father's case re: washing T's bottom
A sexual motive or element ?
"There is a difference between putting soap on your hand and sploshing around and getting right in there and having a good feel around.".
In similar vein, she told me that when she had observed the redness and soreness, it looked as though someone had rubbed very hard in that area.
"Your client [i.e. the father] is well aware that no one should be washing [T] in this manner, she has been capable of washing herself for over a year now. Our client has explained this to yours on several occasions and yet your client has seen fit to continue to wash [T] in this manner both at his home and when out and about." [my emphasis]
Handovers on 15 November and 13 December 2015
"After [T] returned from a day out with the Respondent. I took her up for a bath and to find exactly the same scenario. This time I asked both [T] and the Respondent what had happened and addressed them both. Neither of them said anything. I told both of them that nobody needs to touch [T]'s bottom except [T]. Later the Respondent suggested that maybe [T] got hot at soft play because she was wearing too many clothes."
"2) You reported redness after another visit to softplay – mid-Dec I think ? – again this was news to me. On that occasion I took her to the loo when asked but did not wash her. I encouraged her to wipe herself, which she did. I was surprised when you told me of the redness as there's no washing now. The only thing I could think of was that it may have been because she was wearing woolly tights and running a lot. I said this at the time – that redness of a child's sensitive skin can be caused by lots of things – from the kind of washing powder or reacting to particular fabrics etc."
The holistic overview
The contamination factor
MY FINDINGS
(i) On 15 November 2015 the father washed the child's bottom in the public conveniences at the soft play centre in circumstances and in the manner he has described in his evidence to the court. There is no reliable evidence to support the mother's allegation that he put his finger inside T's bottom or genital area on that or any other occasion.
(ii) There is no reliable evidence to support the mother's allegations that during contact on 13 December 2015 he touched the child around the area of her bottom and/or touched her around her genital area and/or put his finger inside her bottom or genital area.
(iii) On neither of these occasions, and in particular in relation to 15 November 2015 when washing is admitted, is there any reliable evidence to support the mother's allegations that the father's actions in washing the child in this manner were sexually motivated and/or that he has caused physical, psychological or emotional harm to T as a direct result of his actions in washing her in this manner.
(iv) There is no reliable evidence to support the mother's allegations that on other unidentifiable dates the father touched the child around the area of her bottom and/or touched her around her genital area and/or put his finger inside her bottom or genital area with a view to sexual gratification or otherwise. It is accepted by the court that until 15 November 2015 he had on occasions washed her bottom after she had been to the lavatory in order to ensure that she was clean.
(v) It follows that the court accepts that there is no reliable evidence to support the mother's contention that T has been manipulated by the father 'not to talk' about the alleged abuse and/or that she should keep the washing a secret and/or that on any occasion he told the child to 'zip it'.
(vi) As at 15 November 2015 the mother was aware that he had on occasions washed T's bottom;
(vii) On the basis of the evidence before the court, and by way of a response to her questions about the redness she had observed on that occasion, the father gave to the mother on 15 November 2015 an accurate account of the manner in which he had washed T in the sink at the toilets in the soft play centre;
(viii) The parties' respective accounts of what transpired on 13 December 2015 when T returned from contact is as set out in paragraph 321 of my judgment;
(ix) In the early stages of the investigation into the mother's allegations, she did not alert professionals (CSC and the police) to the fact that the father used to wash T's bottom from time to time after she had been to the lavatory whilst they were living in a common household;
(x) The mother did not take any steps to reassure T or to explain to her after 13 December 2015 that he father had provided her with an explanation of what he had done in terms of washing her bottom on 15 November 2015.
(xi) The mother's belief that T has been sexually abused by her father is subjectively genuine and entrenched.
The way forward
Order accordingly
Note 1 i.e. an interview compliant with the statutory guidance ‘Achieving Best Evidence in Criminal Proceedings’ (published in March 2011) [Back] Note 2 I make it clear that I have referred to ‘disclosure’ or ‘disclosures’ in this judgment in quotation marks either because that has been the term used in the original quote or document or because that is how they have been interpreted by the third parties to whom they were made or observed. I do so not to adopt them as such and I am conscious that the use of these terms to describe what a child has said has been deprecated since the Cleveland Report in 2011. [Back] Note 3 Precisely this narrative is reproduced in para 27 of the witness statement which the mother produced on 21 April 2016 after the commencement of the litigation. Whilst that narrative was set in the context of the evolving chronology in the aftermath of the events of things T had said to, and drawn for, third party professionals (including social workers and the police) from January through to April 2016, it seems reasonably clear from the contents of her letter to Dr F in December the previous year that this was T’s initial response to direct questioning from her mother at some point prior to December 2015 but (presumably) between 15 November and 18 December 2015. [Back] Note 4 I have not sought to anonymise the names of the professionals involved since the (open) judgment produced by Williams J when he allowed the father’s appeal names the various individuals who played a part in the ongoing investigation. [Back] Note 5 In fact, as the notes of this meeting make clear, T told Ms Bowles that the bed they had shared was in a hotel. In fact, it was in a room of the father’s extended family’s home in Sheffield. [Back] Note 7 It is common ground that the ELSA sessions did not come to an end until about June 2016. [Back] Note 8 The mother told PC Dalley on 8 April 2016 that she had interpreted the word not as “bows” but as “6aws” which she has interpreted to mean “6 hours”. She also said that she did not know what “Licit” meant. I know not whether this is a reference to “licking” the ice cream which has been drawn beneath those words or “like it” in the context of “doesn’t Mum … like it” [E:94] T was subsequently to confirm during her first meeting at school with the police on 12 April 2016 that these were indeed “lots of different coloured bows”. [Back] Note 10 In the interests of balance, it is right that I record that the counsellors observed each of the parties during those sessions displaying both anger and distress over past behaviours about which each complained during the marriage. They comment in this context that “it was normal for them to rally quickly and refocus on the future”. [Back]